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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?